I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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