i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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