A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize