Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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