Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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