he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize