my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize