I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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