Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

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  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (632) Bad night (1356) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me

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  (208): He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me http://tfl.nu/1pq8
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll alert the authorities

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  (513): someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet (330): I'll alert the authorities http://tfl.nu/v6wq
  Replies (8) Good night (1210) Bad night (559)
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  (+93): View more from

  woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!

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  (+93): woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge! http://tfl.nu/6tpc
  Replies (22) Good night (534) Bad night (2164) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?

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  (210): beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon? http://tfl.nu/djkx
  Replies (17) Good night (3818) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?

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  (512): Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over? http://tfl.nu/e898
  Replies (11) Good night (3374) Bad night (2315) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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  (408): New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority. http://tfl.nu/3oej
  Replies (18) Good night (5051) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize

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  (845): weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize http://tfl.nu/jvbl
  Replies (19) Good night (7277) Bad night (940) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.

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  (503): Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out. http://tfl.nu/zwrd
  Replies (9) Good night (3591) Bad night (710) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?

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  (919): Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again? http://tfl.nu/p959
  Replies (14) Good night (4551) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking

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  (862): He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking http://tfl.nu/6gnv
  Replies (15) Good night (2375) Bad night (836) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago

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  (815): I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago http://tfl.nu/274p
  Replies (11) Good night (436) Bad night (2545) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.

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  (651): I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/6otb
  Replies (4) Good night (874) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.

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  (240): I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos. http://tfl.nu/cwl9
  Replies (3) Good night (998) Bad night (249) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states

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  (860): I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states http://tfl.nu/e5c2
  Replies (0) Good night (618) Bad night (300) Order T-Shirt

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