just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
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She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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