that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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