yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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