we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize