I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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