Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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