I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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