did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize