the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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