can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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