Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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