The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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