You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
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Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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