think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize