I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize