it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize