omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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