Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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