Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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