On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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