Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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