She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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