I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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