Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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