dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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