she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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