I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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