He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize