So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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