made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize