we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
All I want is dick and wine.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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