I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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