i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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