we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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