i just sent this text using only my big toe
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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