I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
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I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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