we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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