We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
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I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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