I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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