I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize