Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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